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Talking to Harry Dean Stanton on the Flipside

"Just open yourself up to the possibility that there might be an afterlife."

Luana on the Flipside (or a mirror in Rockefeller plaza)

This is a post about my pal Luana Anders (who passed away in 1996) and my pal Harry Dean Stanton (who passed a few weeks ago) and my conversation with them via Jennifer Shaffer (

First some bonafides; I've known Harry Dean Stanton since I appeared in an episode of "Laverne and Shirley" with him back in the 80's.  I played a pizza delivery guy who whenever he rang the doorbell, was always shy a couple of slices of pizza.  "Hey fur face, where's the rest of our pizza?"  (Shirley's line) And I'd make up some story "Well, I was on my way here, and suddenly I saw this fire in a building, and I set the pizza down, and went over to the building and caught this baby that fell out of window... but when I got back to your pizza, a few slices were missing."  

All the while, wiping pizza crumbs out of my beard.

Charles Grodin got me the part, it was his idea, he called his pal Penny Marshall and she brought me in to do an episode.  I filmed the bit on the same night that Harry Dean Stanton was performing - singing songs actually, and later, when I ran into Penny she said "Oh, I forgot. We had to cut you. Harry's song went long." (Some years later we shared the "millennium cruise" aboard Bob Shaye's yacht - and I played piano while Penny sang. So there was a circle to that story too.)

But in Harry Dean's case, that circle closed yesterday in a cafe in Manhattan Beach.

Wine and Spirits anyone? (Jennifer's name for a cool talk show)

It's where I meet up with Jennifer Shaffer to talk about the flipside, and when we're there together, we sometimes "invite" folks to come and chat with us "if they're available."  It's a strange set up - we have a small knit group of folks we normally speak with, and our class cheer leader is Luana Anders, my pal who passed away some 20 years ago, who inspired this journey into the Flipside, and has been appearing to me and in my books since then.

She was very tight with Harry Dean Stanton.

Harry Dean Stanton "Everyone's favorite character actor"

How tight?  Well, I did not know this when she was on the planet, but a mutual friend told me about a trip he took with Luana and Harry Dean up to the Monterey Pop festival in 1967.  The film played at the Aero theater in Santa Monica recently, and I went to see it just to experience what they'd experienced - but I don't recall mentioning any of that to Jennifer.  Either way, as I'm about to report; she wasn't aware of it.

So yesterday we asked Luana to stop by.  I said "Lu, our mutual friend Harry passed away recently, I wondered if we might chat with him?"

Jennifer said "He's sitting next to her."

Harry with a close pal.

Now, allow me to pause for a moment - I know how weird this sounds.  But I can tell you that I've verified many of our sessions.  I've heard things from Luana (and others - I've filmed about 30) that I did not know (so it can't be cryptomnesia, something I read, Jennifer read, heard or was told me) but later proved to be true. (It happens in "Hacking the Afterlife" with Jennifer.)

This has happened numerous times, and the details she gives me are verifiable.  They're usually private - so I don't normally talk about this kind of thing in public.  (If Harry had children or a family, I'd share it with them privately. I've shared many details from our sessions with family members, but in this case Harry was a solo trapeze artist.)

I knew and got to hang out with Harry over the years as well.  

We jammed at a party one night - playing guitars, him crooning his Spanish repertoire - Harry knew them all.  We also spent a night drinking at Dan Tana's with Dabney Coleman at their booth. I mentioned seeing Harry at Dan Tana's to Jennifer, and Harry said "Until four a.m." (which was accurate.) We drank until the wee hours, smoking cigarettes outside; Harry was always friendly to me because of the Luana connection - but he firmly did not believe in an afterlife.  He spoke of that disbelief often.

He was kind of famous for talking about it - this was the only path and journey, and after that, nothing. (As the director of his most recent film Lucky points out: "He was deeply spiritual person who was 100% certain that there was no God and there was only a void and we were all going to disappear into nothing and no one was in charge," Lynch says. "He was deeply committed to that worldview.")

His film "Lucky" goes into it in detail, although I haven't seen it yet, I'm sure he gets a lick or two in there about this being the only go-round on the merry-go-round.

That is, until I spoke to him yesterday. On the Flipside.

HDS - Entertainment Weekly

Jennifer did not know who he was, did not know who I was referring to, and I carefully avoided saying his full name or credits or how they knew each other.  But I suspected that it might have been "unusual" or "difficult" for Harry to accept the fact that there IS an afterlife, and it would likely have given him some pause.

It did.

(I filmed this event, it will be a chapter in my next book, but in essence this is how Luana and Harry described the process via Jennifer.)
Luana Anders in the 1960's.
About a week prior to his passing, Harry said, Luana started appearing at his bedside.  He said she was wearing her hippie outfit - specifically the one that she was wearing when they drove up to Monterey in 1967.  

Harry said "I thought I was hallucinating."  He said that he recognized her, but assumed it was a trick of the brain to have her appear in this memory.

I asked Luana what happened next.  

She helped him remember the drive to Monterey.  (Jennifer at first said "Santa Barbara" and I said "I think it was further north.")  Upon crossing over, Harry saw himself in this car, driving up to Monterey.  He "assumed it was a dream."  

There was a third friend in the car as well. Let's call him "Fred."  (I reached out to "Fred" yesterday as Harry had a message for him, and answered some questions raised here) 

Harry said "I thought this is what happens when people die - they go to a happy memory, like a dream, and then they're in that dream forever in kind of a loop."  The idea that a dream or memory would just play out over and over when someone was no longer on the planet.

Then, he said, they had a flat tire.

And as they were fixing the flat tire, Harry said he "realized this was not something that had happened" - that they did not have a flat tire on this trip.  

So he looked at his friend "Fred" and said "We didn't have a flat tire." And "Fred" said "I know."

It was at this moment he realized he wasn't in a dream - but "in the afterlife."  Harry chuckled as he said (through Jennifer) "Luana gave me a soft landing by doing that."

I said "I'm in touch with the other friend in the car - "Fred" - he's still on the planet, just to be clear, when you were speaking to him while fixing the flat tire..." Harry interrupted "I was talking to his higher self."  (It's a term I often use to describe the energy that is always "back home" in the afterlife.) 

(According to the thousands of cases done by Michael Newton of people under deep hypnosis (7000 over 30 years, as detailed in "Flipside") people claim we bring about a third of our energy here, and the rest is "always back there.")  

So when Harry saw his pal "Fred" helping him with the tire, he realized he was talking to the "higher self" version of his friend.

He added "And the higher self version is much less uptight than he is down on the planet."  

Jennifer didn't know that - could not know that - but I know that.  This "Fred" fellow is famously taciturn, doesn't speak unless questioned, he's described by all who know and love him as a "doesn't speak until spoken to" kind of guy.  So for Harry (through Jennifer) to describe him that way was precisely as I know him.  And it made me laugh.

He said ""Fred" is heartbroken, you need to let him know I'm okay."

I said "What have you been doing since you arrived back there?"  He said "Seeing friends. Thousands of friends.  You can tell my ex that I saw our child who passed away."  I said "Who is that?"  He said "Look it up - we had a child in 1962 (Jennifer said "the date 1962 comes to mind" - so don't know if it happened then, or she was born in 1962, or some other connection to that date) and that child passed away.  Let her know that I'm with that child."  

I said "Harry, I have no way to access her."  He said "Google it."  

So I will.  (People don't lose their syntax or personality when they get to the flipside.  They're not gone. They're just not here.)

I asked "Is there anything you want me to share with people, your friends, fans, or just anyone?" He said:

"Tell them there is an afterlife.  Tell them to believe in an afterlife."

I laughed.  I said "Harry you were famous for claiming there isn't one. Who is going to believe me when I say "Harry Dean said "You should believe in the afterlife?"

He said "My point is that you spend so much time worrying about whether there is one or not, if you just open yourself up to the possibility, then you won't spend so much time, like I did, on that hamster wheel worrying about whether there is one or not."

I said "So how did you come to believe there wasn't one?"

He said "Too many of my friends died. That was painful. It was a way that I could wall off the pain. Just easier to believe it didn't exist."

I thanked him for the point.  "Believe in the afterlife" - not because there is or isn't one - but the act of opening yourself up to the possibility there might be one, takes the onus and pressure off the wasted energy worrying about it. (to paraphrase Harry.)

Old pals, Jack and HDS (and Luana)
(I didn't mention Harry's other friends, that we eventually spoke of, as I didn't want to inject bias into my questions to Jennifer about Harry.  But later, he had some wry comments about Marlon and Jack which I'll include in the chapter.) 

I will be transcribing the session verbatim.  It was thrilling for me since Jennifer didn't know anything about this trip.  I didn't know anything about the trip either until a few months ago, when the third fellow in the car told me about it.

I said "Harry, show Jennifer where you were going in Monterey.  What did you guys do up there?'

She said "He's showing me big screens and people sitting around.  Luana said it was a 'free love' event. (We had not discussed a year or time when this event happened.)  I said "What's happening on the screens, what are people doing?"  Jennifer said "It's like a concert of some kind, listening to music."  I said "Harry, show her who is performing at this concert."  Jennifer looked into the deep distance and said... "Prince?"  

Did not play Monterey.

I chuckled.  I said, "Okay, you can see a guy playing a guitar who could be Prince. Look more carefully. Is that Prince?"  

After a long pause she said "Is it Jimi Hendrix?"  

A chill came over me as she said it.  This of course, was the famous concert where Jimi lit his guitar and the world on fire.  I spoke to the third person in the car yesterday and he confirmed that they did see Hendrix, and no, they did not have a flat tire that he could remember. Jennifer said she saw Harry and Luana smoking pot together, getting high, but this third fellow said he's never touched the herb, but couldn't rule out they may have been getting stoned.

Did play at Monterey

At some point, my friend Bill Paxton showed up in this discussion.  (Bill was an old friend, he's shown up a whole bunch of times, including when I'm interviewing other mediums, and his visits will be included in the next book).  Bill did a number of "we're not worthy" bows towards Harry, as he was and remains a big fan.  

Harry Dean and Billy P. in "Big Love."

But then, Bill knew both Luana and Harry, so it's not out of the ordinary that the three of them would be hanging out.  Bill joked "Harry's the new guy here, so Harry's gotta sit at the end of the row in this crew." (I'm paraphrasing, but in typical Bill fashion, made light of what we were doing.)  Harry also made a number of jokes, bad puns, and when I have the time to transcribe, will share them as well.
Bill Paxton directing

If you've never come across my page, welcome.  And a warning:

I am reporting what I filmed verbatim.  Jennifer works with law enforcement agencies nationwide on missing person cases. We've filmed other sessions where she's told me things about friends of mine (information from them on the other side to their loved ones over here) that turned out to be accurate, true, and not what I (or Jennifer) knew or could know. Verifiable details.

I've been cataloging what people say about the afterlife for about a decade now - I've examined the work of Michael Newton (7000 cases over 30 years), Dr. Helen Wambach (2000 cases a decade earlier), and filmed over 40 between life sessions.  (I've done 5 myself, four with Scott De Tamble (  

I've interviewed scientists about consciousness and near death events, and have had a number of near death experiencers do between life sessions to gather further information.  I have worked with a number of mediums, including Jennifer, to access "new information" from people no longer on the planet. 

All of this is cataloged in my books "Flipside" "It's a Wonderful Afterlife" volume one and volume two and "Hacking the Afterlife."  I'm currently crowd funding my next book "The Afterlife Expert."

I offer this information merely as a reporter (I'm a filmmaker, have written and/or directed eight theatrical feature films, some documentaries, and been a journalist for a number of magazines).  

I'm not trying to alter, adjust, change anyone's beliefs, or reroute their journey or path in any way.  I've found that the people who are drawn to this research come because of some reason only they know.  It may be part of their path or journey, or they're trying to understand someone else's path or journey. This research is not for everyone, nor should it be.  Not everyone needs to know "what happens at the end of the novel" and it's infinitely more fun to not know the ending to the play when you're in the play.  But for whatever reason, it's been my passion for the past decade.

 Harry Dean was a friend, and remains one to this day.  While he had many more famous friends than me, our mutual pal Luana, one of his nearest and dearest friends was there to greet him on the flipside (along with others) and she orchestrated this session between me, Harry and Jennifer.  I know what it's like to hear and see Luana (and have visited her a number of times "over there" and the information is consistent and revelatory) know what its like to see her "over there" (appears younger than when I met her, but the same persona, sense of humor and deep insight.)

God rest ye merry gentlemen.  

It took me a few minutes after he said this outrageous thing "just believe in the afterlife" -- but now I feel I understand what Harry is saying: 

"Just allow that there might be an afterlife.  Even if you don't believe it, open yourself up to the possibility that it might be true." As if allowing ourselves to be "open to other possibilities" helps us navigate life on the planet. As if allowing that there's more to this journey than we can comprehend takes some of the stress out of experiencing it.  Good point Harry.  Thank you.

And finally, I'll end with a Harry quote from when he was still on the planet: "Heisenberg, Max Plank and Einstein, they all agreed that science could not solve the mystery of the universe." Harry Dean Stanton


The Flipside of 9-11

Well, it's that time of year again.  Where we remember where we were, what we were doing, the emotions we felt on 9/11.

My 1st trip to NYC in 1959. A few years prior.
As for me, I was teaching in Maine, I drove through an epic lightning storm to hang with some friend's at Harry Cipriani's Downtown - film director Phillip Noyce and artist Peter Tunney. Crashed at Pete's near Canal Street; dawn brought clear blue autumn skies. 

I planned to stop at H and H for a couple bags of bagels my film students, but somehow I missed the turn off the Westwide Highway.

First indication something was amiss that day; the gas station in CT had a crowd around a TV because "some plane had hit the WTC." 

I called my then girlfriend Sherry in LA and told her to turn on the tv; I just "neglected" to mention had just been blocks away. 

I spent the rest of the drive listening to the towers fall on the radio.  It was eerie to hear it instead of see it - somewhere near Camden I pulled off to watch it on tv at a hotel.  I sat by myself in a chair and sobbed. "Oh... the humanity."

A week later wife Sherry made the trip to ground zero - she wanted, needed to see it - but I passed on that visit; it took me over a year to return...  just too painful for me emotionally to make that journey.

Another kind of journey in Central Park
Since then I've spoken to many people who claim to have spoken to people on the flipside that describe these events from a spiritual perspective, not "them versus us" - but in terms of what's "meant to be" - and that's what I'm writing about here. 

I know a child who when looking at a photograph of the twin towers said "I was there."  Her mother, knowing that her daughter had never been to Manhattan, said "When?"  

She said "I was there with my brother, and there was a giant fire, and we were helping all the people come out, and there was paper everywhere; it came down like snowflakes."

Neither she nor her brother had been born prior to this event, and this kid's parents avoided all mention of 9/11 as their kids were growing up, avoiding having to explain that particular tragedy.

Their daughter described the event as if she was there.  "My brother and I were helping people out."Her brother was an infant when she told this story. But she told it as if it was just something she felt she needed to share.

I know a fellow who was in mid meditation in a forest in New Jersey when the towers came down - he was out in the woods meditating when he suddenly saw rows and rows of people floating by. As if they were departing from that scene.

He was profoundly moved when he learned later that the tragedy had occurred.

In Michael Newton's book, ("Destiny of Souls") he makes reference to a between life session where a client recalled seeing a "room full of people" who had been summoned to discuss an event that was about to occur. It was an "emergency event" and people were being asked to either participate in it, or not.  

The man claimed that he heard some people being offered incentives - like "if you can suffer through this event, we'll make sure to make it up to you in the next life." People either volunteered to be part of this lesson, or in some cases apparently did not. 

Michael Newton did not clarify what the event was, when it occurred; but as I read it, the description made me think of those who participated in 9/11. 

 If you consider for a moment that no one dies in these events - indeed, they're gone from this plain, they're no longer physically available to their families or loved ones - that's stressful.  No mitigating pain of the loss of a loved one.

In between the towers being down and the Freedom going up.
But when you think of the lessons in love, the advancement they might have by participating in a profound lesson like this - you can see how some folks are willing to offer up the rest of their life in order to teach or learn lessons in love.

I know that's hard to wrap our minds around on a day where we "remember" those who've gone before us. 

But it's no different than going to a funeral, going to a cemetery, honoring our loved ones who've gone before us, no matter their method of crossing over.  We honor them by talking about them, by remembering them, by thinking of them, by talking to or about them.  

Robin Williams and Radioman in Manhattan (Getty)
It's the best way to memorialize anyone.  Talk about them.  Think about them. (or in Robin's case, post pix of them - I was looking for another photograph, and when this popped up, it was as if he was saying "post this one! It's me! I'm in Manhattan too!") Say kind words about them, say sarcastic things about them - bring them back to life.  Honor them by talking about their accomplishments, their path, their journey. 

They're not gone. They're just not here.

And they can hear you.  It's just not that easy to have a two way communication with them, but it's worth trying. 

Oh look. Manhattan... with palm trees. (Vegas)
And try to have a little perspective on a day like today.

In my life, the events of 9/11 led to an entirely different set of circumstances, directly responsible for my going on adventures and meeting people whom I admire, consider friends, who are in the vanguard of the fight against what caused these events. So from a different perspective, this day 16 years ago led to other vistas, different venues, and helped clarify paths for many. 

I know it inspired many to join the military, to fight for their country, to become active in defense of their beliefs and part of their journey.  I am reluctant to add that is true on "both sides" of the equation, but I add it because that's what's reported in the research. 

We sign up for a lifetime knowing pretty well what we want to learn or teach or accomplish. And along the way we're called upon to do something selfless - give of ourselves, to save or help or learn from saving or helping someone else.  It's the essence of who we are as humans.  And once you begin to realize that we are all souls who choose our lifetimes, then the actions of some can only be seen in light of a bigger picture.  
Again, I'm not arguing this, or trying to force anyone to change their opinion or belief system.  I am reporting what people say about the flipside - consistently - whether they've done a session under deep hypnosis, or had a near death event and been able to examine it under hypnosis, or whether they've had access to the flipside in some other manner.  They consistently say these things about it.  

We learn from our errors, we learn from our mistakes, we learn from having the courage to come to this stage and perform difficult journeys.  That's consistent in all the reports.

So when remembering a day like today - remember those who gave of themselves to save others, those who risked everything to help others, those who went out of their way to help others.  

And think for a moment (if it's possible) to consider the choices of those who sacrificed their lives to hurt others, to make life difficult for others - I can't imagine why anyone would make that kind of choice, I can't offer any logic or answer that would give solace or understanding why anyone would choose to play a perpetrator than a victim... but I can report that people claim that some do "offer" to play the role of perpetrator because there's some reason for it. ("They needed to learn a lesson in negativity." "They will be a victim in a future life at the hands of the people they hurt." etc) And perhaps one day that information will become apparent.

In my case, I can only choose to honor those I know and love who've gone before me, and I choose to honor or talk about those who've sacrificed themselves to help others. For me it's the essence of why we're on the planet.  Unconditional love.

So when someone says "Never Forget" - it applies to everyone who has ever been in our path... don't forget them, their voice, their actions or their love - which is all that remains. 

The Apple Store on 5th Ave

Writing you Eulogy and your Won't

As I was traveling to my book talk this past weekend, I had a thought:

Ms. Vespucci, beloved Florentine

"When's the best time to write your eulogy?"

It sounds like a morbid thought, but bear with me.

If it's true that we live many lifetimes, if it's true that we come back here to the planet by choice, and not by force, karma or a willy nilly sense of humor....

If what people say about the flipside is true - that we come here for a reason, we choose our lifetimes for a reason, we come to learn and teach lessons (usually about "love" or the "loss of love" or "unconditional love"):

Why not think about your eulogy?

You know, that thing that they're going to read at your funeral (if you're lucky.) That thing they're going to put in the paper about you (if you're lucky.)  Think about the LONG VERSION instead of the version most of your family members will print because it costs so dang much per word.

Let's offer two options: 
1. You write the dang thing yourself. 
or 2. Someone else writes it for you.

What is it going to say?

A list of accomplishments?  Often.   
A list of things that you did for others? Perhaps.

A list of all the junk you own or purchased?  Never.

Save that for the will.  Go ahead, you've thought about your will, even if you've never written one - everyone tells you "write your will now because it's a pain in the ass later!" - this is true.  I've seen it, witnessed it, been around the horn with it - and if you don't leave a will - you'll leave a "won't."  

As in - no one will do anything that you thought they would about what you thought you wanted. They'll do whatever they think you wanted but aren't really sure because you forgot to write it down.  So think of your "will" as your "won't."  As in "I don't want you to do this with my stuff!!!"

Got it?

Write your won't.

Now let's write your eulogy, shall we?

(Oh, you forgot. There's two options. You write it or someone else will write it.  So if you're going to let me write it, I will.  If you want to write it, fine - you don't have to physically write it, but you gotta think about it.)


By Dear Reader of the Blog.

"Hi.  I'm speaking to you from the afterlife.  It was an odd event when I crossed over.  Odd because I thought for sure "I'm going to die!!!" and then... I didn't die. I just crossed over.  Because... well... I don't know how to put it to you any other way; there is no death.  We don't die.  We just move from here... to there."

Now if you're someone who chose to move from here to there - perhaps you're someone who thought that "death" might be a way to nirvana, or happiness, or heaven... I've got some bad news for you.

We don't die.  
SAY WHAT? Everyone in this foto is no longer on the planet.
They're not dead. They're just not here.

So you can't kill the thing you wanted to kill, which is yourself.  So if you're thinking about it - hang on - you can't do it.  Because you aren't making the problems easier, or better, more fun, or happier.  You just aren't doing anything at all except stopping yourself from having the chance to experience life.

Let me recap. You signed a contract. You agreed to come here. You even agreed to stay here "until the bitter end" because that's what people do.  They sign up to "experience it all."  You think by cheating, by breaking your word, breaking the contract, you're going to make it easier on yourself.  Au contraire.

It's not because the devil is waiting for you. It's not because you've done a bad bad thing, committed a sin... although that's accurate - you've sinned against yourself.  You've cheated yourself of all that work!  all that effort! all those people who conspired to get you here! to help you learn the lessons!!!  And the first people you're going to run into on the flipside are all those folks you let down.

And they're not going to be happy with you.  And you won't be happy with you either.  Sure... you'll eventually "get over it" - but it's going to be really hard for anyone to take you seriously again... for anyone to believe you when you ask to sign up for another lifetime.  "But I'll do better this time! I promise! I won't DO IT AGAIN!" 

Yeah, yeah, sure you won't. Tell that to all the people you made upset, miserable, unhappy. We forgive you, but oy, don't ask us to all help you when times get tough.

But I digress.

It's an inevitable question people ask - "If it's true I chose this lifetime, then why is it so difficult?"  

Well - look to the theater for the answer. What play have you ever sat through - fell asleep in - where he didn't ask "why is this so boring?"  "Why isn't anything happening?"  "I paid a fortune for these tickets and nothing is going on!!!"  

Remember, we have audience members too - keep it interesting. Keep it lively.  Enjoy the show, not only because you signed up to perform, but because everyone you ever loved is watching you perform. As I heard from a famous film director currently on the flipside: "No one comes to this side wishing they held back more during their lifetime."

There are a number of "life planning" transcripts in this book.

In Hacking the Afterlife, I include transcripts from a number of "life planning sessions."

Back to eulogizing.

What is your eulogy going to sound like?  

As I'm trying to point out - your eulogy should be just as entertaining as your life.  "He jumped!  He tried! He flew with angels!  He fell and crashed and burned! He laughed at misery!  He joked with tragedy! He sword fought with bad guys, chastised the good guys who were lazy, he screamed his lungs out!"

"She never gave up."  "She was knocked off her feet numerous times, she got back up, dusted her self off, and went back in there, swinging."  "She fought hard, she fought well, and never, ever lost her sense of humor!"  "She made people weep at the sound of her voice, she made children laugh and pine for her presence, she made everyone who met her fall in love with her."

Her maiden name was Cattaneo. She married the map making brother
of the guy America is named after.

While I was researching "the DeMedicis" project I sold to HBO some years ago, (they made "Rome" instead) I came across an entry about Simonetta Vespucci.  

She was the model for "The Birth of Venus" and was one of the most beloved people in Florence.  They said of her "She was envied by no one, but she was loved by everyone.  Men and women both fell in love with her, and her generous spirit." 

She died at the age of 21 from pneumonia.  The entire city turned out for her funeral - but Sandro Botticelli immortalized her.  Here we are 500 years after her death, talking about her.  Marveling at her portrait - in "The Birth of Spring" and "The Birth of Venus" and many other canvases.  

She really lived, she was really loved.  She only lived to 21, but her spirit carries on.  Because of her eulogy?  No, of course not, but because of her enduring qualities. Her beauty? Certainly. But Sandro also captured an "essence of who she was."  A physical eulogy if you will.

Simonetta's "Birth of Venus" was a wedding gift and reportedly
was hung over the Medici wedding bed. She was reported to be the love of Giuliano De Medici, who appears with her in "Spring."

So what are your enduring qualities?

Look back over your life.  What age did you first have a conscious thought that you might be doing the kind of work you're doing? (As noted in my books, I once asked an FBI agent this question and she said "In preschool. I kept lists on everyone!")

Think about those moments in your life where you had some clarity.  Someone showed up that you felt like you'd known forever.  The moment you realized that the significant other in your life was someone "you'd know forever."  Think of the moment you first realized "She/He's the one."
A short eulogy.

It's in there - people remember the stories of their life, but they forget the "epic moments of them." Some people remember these moments with clarity, others, I have to fish it out of them.  "Go back to that moment when you really, really knew that he or she was the person you were going to spend a significant amount of time with."

In those moments we see a glimpse of our "life planning session." We all have them, we all have been through them - some of us might have decided to come back to the planet on a whim, because "all our friends were coming" - but most of us, have a planning session where we work out the details.  "Who's who in the zoo" so to speak.

My grandfather's medal - the Legion of Honor.
Haven't a clue why he won it.
But he does.
Don't believe me? 

I reprint a number of them in "Hacking the Afterlife."  I've accessed my own a number of times. Each time I do it comes in more clearly - who was there, what was said, what was promised, what my intent was (and hopefully still is.)

If your eulogy was only two words, what would they be?

"She loved baseball"  

Okay. That's pretty funny. That's enough for her family and loved ones.  I guess some might wonder "And she disliked everything else?"  But that's up to Effa's family.  (great name - "Effa B. Manley"- fun repeating it at the DMV, I'm sure.)

Don't forget you're going to have a number of Eulogies, you're also going to write a number of "Won'ts" -- you're going to write them for friends, loved ones, for yourself - many times.  Not just here this time, but for the next time you choose to come back.  

Cemeteries - a bunch of physical eulogies.

A eulogy should be an attempt to find the theme in your life.  

What is it?  Then, if you're taking the advanced class - what's the theme over a number of your lives?  What's the theme that your soul group is working on?  Once you become aware of that, it's helps clarify why you'e on the planet.

Why you agreed to come to the planet.

Why you're here and who you're here to help.

Finally, think of the music you'd like to be played at your funeral. 

What's the musical theme of your lifetime? What's the music you think would most remind folks of you, and what you represented while you were here?  Make a note of it somewhere for someone to find.  "At my funeral I'd like people to hear...."

Whatever it is.  

(Here's mine...  although I doubt many would stick around for the 120 minutes. Maybe that's a good way to thin out the crowd. When I was in college I wrote a paper on how Beethoven's 9th was a metaphor for the four stages of life - how each movement represented what youth, middle age, old age and then spiritual reflection meant... and finally the last glorious journey into Shiller's poem.... Which gets me every time - almost like a physical example of what it's like to cross over - it seemed like an apt musical eulogy for my own life, though I doubt whoever's around will remember that I wanted the entire symphony to be played live, in full... and let that be the memory of me.  Oh well, It's here, ain't it?)

Write your eulogy like you mean it - like it will guide you through the rest of your days here on the planet. 

 Make it mean something, make it fun, make people happy who come across it.

"He laughed."


Talking to Loved Ones on the Flipside

As promised, I've edited my book talk this past weekend at Center for the Heart in Santa Barbara.

In this first hour, I recount my journey to this work, and why I'm spending time trying to figure out how anyone can communicate with their loved ones on the flipside.

That's here:

As you can see from these two clips, I did a variation of my Flipside book talks, with a focus on "talking to our loved ones on the other side."

There were two folks that I met just prior to my talk - one was Roxy Angel Superstar, who works at Center of the Heart chapel in Santa Barbara, and the Reverend Maryum Morse.  I have never met them before, and neither was that familiar with my work or research.

Roxy had seen my speak at the IANDS group in Santa Barbara, where I did a live demonstration with a woman at that even of revisiting her near death experience. However, she felt that the details that we explored were too intimate, and did not want me to share the event with my audience.

However, in this case, we weren't discussing a near death event - something that is pretty profound when it happens and can be hard to process.  In this case, Reverend Maryum had a vivid dream where she saw her dying father suddenly sit up "out of his body" as a young healthy man - he did it a number of times, and then she became aware of a crowd of people around his bed.

I asked if she had a memory of that dream, and she said she did.

In Roxy's case, she said she had an out of body experience when conceiving her child - it actually felt like she left her body and was in space.

In both cases, I'm not using hypnosis. I'm just asking them to access the memory of that event, and then asking if we can examine it further.

The results are here:

The point isn't that I'm accessing the flipside.

The point is that they're accessing the flipside in their own visual spectrum. I'm not conjuring anything up, or trying to get someone on the flipside to "talk" - the key here is that neither was familiar with me or my work, had no idea what they'd find, and as you'll see - in both cases they say things that are nearly identical to the research in my books; "Flipside" "It's a Wonderful Afterlife" volumes one and two and "Hacking the Afterlife."

I've done this a few times now and it doesn't matter who I do it with - mediums, people who've had near death experiences, people who've had out of body experiences - anyone who's had a dream.

It's not for everyone.

But I'm posting it here - pretty much unedited for the most part - to show the "Martini Method."

If you're interested in helping me further this research, please consider donating to my new book "The Afterlife Expert" which is being crowd funded through

Thanks for your support.


Interstellar and the Ghost is Us scene

I spoke at the Center of the Heart church in Santa Barbara yesterday.

It was pretty mind bending - I invited two audience members onstage (the Reverend Maryum Morse, and the Core Council VP Roxy Angel Superstar).

I'd never meet either before yesterday.

And in a few moments, just asking them questions about their journey - we went somewhere unusual, somewhere that people go under deep hypnosis - but we went there just by my asking a series of improvised questions.

We went to visit their councils, we went to visit their loved ones who have crossed over, we got to ask them questions about their journey and what they're up to these days.

For those of you familiar with my research, it's something I've been doing as of late.  Asking someone if they've had some kind of altered consciousness event that they're aware of (could be a dream, a near death event, an out of body event, or they're a medium) and then I ask them questions to see what is in their memory.

I've learned the memory is holographic.

Meaning we think that it's transitory, subject to interpretation, or some other pejorative associated with memory.

I'm finding that's not the case.  When you have a memory - you have a 360 degree memory.  It included everyone that's around you at that moment in time.

It's a holographic memory - I call it that because if you take a holographic photo of something, and then smash it to pieces, each piece of the smashed hologram contains ALL THE INFORMATION from the photograph.

All of it.

So when I ask people to remember some event that happened when they were children  (Tony Stockwell's memory of a ghost child in his room when he was 8) I can ask them to access that memory, and then reanimate it.

In other words - if there was someone in your dream or vision, or past life memory, or if there was some person in your near death event - we can go back to that person and ask them questions IN REAL TIME - in present tense.  Not just "How are you?" or "Where are you?"  But "Describe to us what you're spending your time over there doing."

I've been doing this for months now, and will be part of my new book "The Afterlife Expert."

(If you'd like to donate to help its creation in return for a copy and other prizes, please go to

I will be posting the 40 minute video in a day or so, so you can see for yourself how it's done.  Does it require my presence to do it?  I have no idea.  But I'm showing people how it's done. What you do with that information is up to you.


Was watching "Interstellar" the other night and rethinking the part about the "tesseract."

For those of you unfamiliar with the film; here's a clip:

For those of you who saw the film, a reminder:

Cooper, the intrepid astronaut, goes through a black hole along with his computer TARS to see if they can find a way to transmit that information back to planet Earth. It's a last ditch effort, and appears to have gone haywire, when agent Cooper exists his space craft as it breaks up from the pressure.

However, he finds himself in a geometric place - which he calls a "tesseract" - which means "a 4 dimensional cube" - Cooper is looking out through ribbons of energy (roughly).  While he's in this geometric shape - he sees all the moments of his daughter's lifetime.  Including when he was about to leave her behind, and then the gift of his watch that he gave her. 

At some point Cooper realizes that the "aliens" who sent information about how to travel through time and space were not aliens per se - they "are us in the future." 

In other words, human beings, or conscious entities, who are trying to help earthlings from a long time ago, but have found a way to communicate from the future to us in the past to save the human race.

It's a shame they don't save Earth - because everyone is on "space stations" by the time Cooper returns (to Station Cooper - named for his scientist daughter).

But this is what I'm doing.

I'm reaching out to "us."  The people not of the future - but the people who are no longer on the planet.  I'm using the common tools that we have (mediums, hypnosis, open discussions) to ask questions of people on the flipside.


You see?

We don't die. Only about a third of our energy is here on the planet, so two thirds is always "back home."  People back home claim they attend classes in "energy transformation" - I've been to a few of these classrooms myself, have interviewed teachers and students alike - and they all say the same things relatively.

They are us.

They are no longer on the planet.

And yet I am interviewing them and trying to gain the knowledge they have to help the planet they've left behind.

We are the "ghosts in the machine."

Human bodies are like computers or robots that have been animated - but much more interesting.  We choose to be here, so we may one day choose to be part of the lifetime of a robot - that's really up to us to make that choice.  I'd argue that were millennia away from being able to make that particular journey - because it's taken millions of years for us to figure out how to animate the creatures of this planet with our consciousness.

We are the aliens.

We are the humans.

We are the consciousness that's part of the sentient universe.

And we all have access to this information - we just need to go within to access the hologram of our memories... and ask the right questions.

Okay, I'll stop now - that's enough to chew on.  If you want more, CHECK OUT "HACKING THE AFTERLIFE."

Available in audible, kindle, paperback, etc. 

What Is Life Between Life Hypnotherapy?